Live and Let Die
by Fafsernir
Summary: Jack unlocked the door and silently walked in, locking again behind him, wondering whether Ianto was still awake. They'd had the most exhausting day, they were still injured both mentally and physically, and they'd had no time to grief. He just hoped Ianto could rest before they had to face the pain of having lost two friends.


_I created a side tumblr blog called "mel-writes-and-recs" and I got an ask for Ianto being deaf or hard of hearing._

 _Before you read: warning that I only wrote with what I had in mind of what having hearing problems was. I did not do much research, and I did not go on and on with an explanation for Ianto's hearing problems and just went for the easy "it happened in Canary Wharf" way. I do not pretend to know anything on the subject and I'm sorry if anything sounds off, I hope I haven't offended anyone. I put everything that is signed in italics (again not lingering on how Ianto learned Sign Language because it didn't fit the story) and directly in English because I have zero notion of Sign Language, certainly not the British one. I hope it makes sense and that you'll like this._

 _Don't hesitate to take a look at my Tumblr and/or to ask something, I'll do my best! Also it's always nice to leave a comment :)_

* * *

Jack unlocked the door and silently walked in, locking again behind him, wondering whether Ianto was still awake. He hoped he was asleep but considering the past couple of days, he probably couldn't get any sleep. Jack shook his head and sighed, directly heading for the living-room from which he could hear the TV way too loud.

"Are you crazy?" he asked above the noise.

He frowned when he got no response from Ianto, although he could see him sitting on the couch. He walked in the room entirely and Ianto got on his feet suddenly but seemed to relax when he saw that it was Jack.

"You okay?"

"What?" Ianto almost shouted, and Jack stepped back instinctively. Why was Ianto screaming now?

Jack shook his head and paused the film Ianto was watching – a James Bond, without surprise – and turned back to Ianto.

"Did you really need subtitles with that?"

Ianto stared at him for a long time until it slowly turned into a glare, and Jack wondered what he was doing here, and partly wished he was dead. Again.

"I can't hear you," Ianto said again, still loudly, and signed it at the same time.

And Jack finally realised, opening his mouth like a stupid man. "I'm sorry," he instantly said. "I forgot."

He put his head in his hand after talking, realising that he wasn't doing any good to his case, and tried to sign what he had just said, but he couldn't get anything done and ran a nervous hand through his hair while Ianto was just standing with his arms crossed. Jack shook his head and sank into the couch with a long sigh, trying to gather his thoughts.

He blamed himself for forgetting something so important about Ianto, and he felt even guiltier for having forgotten sign language at this moment. Some things he usually did without a problem were a bit off since he had spent hundreds of years buried. He had struggled with English for the first few hours, had blacked out a few times and now he couldn't sign any more and he had even forgotten that Ianto, with whom he had been going out for months, had hearing problems. It wasn't complicated to remember. Since Canary Wharf, Jack knew Ianto wore hearing aids – although they had never exactly talked about that day – and he had learnt more of what he already knew from the British Sign Language to communicate more easily with Ianto, and mainly because working for Torchwood meant that he often ended the day with his device having problems. Tosh had gotten used to repairing it, but now she was gone.

He still tried to sign for Ianto, until he slowly remembered and finally managed to sign an apology. Ianto nodded and sat next to him, closing his eyes for a second, then looking at Jack with extremely tired eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, not as loud as before but still too loud.

 _Making sure you're okay_ , Jack signed in answer, hesitantly putting his hand on Ianto's thigh.

 _I'm fine, I didn't have time to get a new hearing aids and I've had the worst headaches since I got here_.

Ianto looked away, adding that he was simply really tired, and Jack pursed his lips, wondering what to do. They hadn't talked that much since the explosion that had started all the craziness of the past couple of days – which also probably was the cause of Ianto not having his hearing aids any more – and hadn't taken the time to stop to breathe for a minute, probably because that would have given them time to think, and they couldn't afford to ponder while Cardiff was still in panic.

But now they had taken care of everything they could in such a short delay and Jack had sent everyone – well, Ianto and Gwen – home to rest. He had thought that talking with Ianto would be a good idea, but it sounded like a fiasco so far. Ianto didn't seem open to discussion, and Jack didn't know what to do.

"Ianto," he eventually said, turning Ianto's head to him. _What do you want? To be alone?_ he continued, signing again.

Ianto shrugged, but quickly shook his head after. He sat back against the couch and seemed to think about something. He eventually smiled awkwardly and raised his hands, closing and opening his fists in visible hesitation.

 _Stay_ , he finally signed, even if Jack knew he hadn't planned on signing this initially.

He nodded anyway and pecked Ianto's cheek, then gathered him in his arms before he could move. Ianto seemed like he would protest, but he held on Jack instead, burying his head on his neck. He didn't cry, but he didn't let go of Jack. When he loosened his grip, Jack noticed it was only because he had finally fallen asleep.

He reached for a nearby blanket, putting it around them both, careful not to wake Ianto up, wondering whether he would ever break down completely one day, and if Jack would be able to handle it or not. He promised himself that he would, and hoped that he could be enough for Ianto.


End file.
